Thursday, October 05, 2006

Clarification

I need to clarify a few points...so that we all have the right idea.

Whether or not commenters were speaking out of love, I felt no love. Period. I felt attacked and condemned. I felt like an innocent question asked in a safe environment was made very hostile. With love, I would think that someone might have asked what in the world happened that made me go this way. Instead, I felt browbeat and punch drunk from all the "love". So, to those of you that were acting in "love" you may want to work on your delivery.

Yes, I am struggling with this. Absolutely. I needed some encouragement because, to be completely transparent...no one out here homeschools. I did not want to be a pioneer and I thought if no one out here homeschools, then there must be a reason for it. The strongest Christians that we know send their kids to public school. We have been told that there are many, many Christians in key roles in the school district. The support groups in this area are disorganized at best. And it would be much easier. But I do not feel useless as a mother and I am fully aware of what my calling is. Let me further point out for the whole group: no one has "drug" me into the idea of homeschooling or drug me out. I have always had my own mind and that will continue to be so.

We are very thankful for friends who have shared their experiences with us. But sometimes it's okay to use a gentle hand. Especially when you think you know someone's heart.

7 comments:

Truth Seeker said...

At the end of the day it is your's and your husband's decision to homeschool your kids or not. I think you are correct -- the sanctimonious preaching of a few on this subject did not come across as trying to inform you, but as to badger you so you would homeschool your kids. A little salt might have helped these otherwise well meaning comments. God knows I've been guilty of the same thing.

Good luck in your decision. In terms of difficulty, I think it ranks right up there with trying to decide if you should have kids or not in the first place.

Lindsay said...

Let me just tell you from personal experience - you can be in charge of your children's education if you send them to public school.

From k-5th grade I was in public school. We were in a very Christian-friendly district, and my parents had no problems speaking their minds about the subjects that were being taught or the way they were being taught. They even 'modified' my curriculum when evolution was being taught.

This allowed them to stay in charge of my education, and it never occured to me that it would be otherwise.

Whatever choice you make, be encouraged - love you, girl, and thanks for speaking your mind.

Pretty in Pink said...

Sweetheart, know that you are loved from my corner. You feel attacked and condemned because you were attacked and condemned.

Whether or not anyone intended to insult or hurt or attack or condemn is another matter, and I am not here to judge anyone's intentions.

But I will say to the Millers and the Arnolds that you have hurt a precious person, a sister in Christ — and you have hurt others that I know of as well.

Though I don't know you, I know of you — and I can't imagine that you would want to have hurt fellow Christians. And yet you persist. Why? Truly please question yourself and take it to prayer. Why is it necessary to persist?

I have no doubt that your zeal and excitement for homeschooling is sincere — but your presentation was quite simply, unkind to say the least.

As for Georgia, I know she does not feel useless. I know she is a strong, determined, loving woman of God who, like the rest of us, questions what's right for our families. Sometimes that includes questioning Christian friends. AS friends, we have the responsibility of being truthful as well as humble.

Humility is a virtue that was lacking in many of these posts, and I hope that those who have been unkind do apologize to Georgia and Brian and to others on this site who were deeply hurt by their condemning tones.

Yes, we love our children. Yes, we want what's best for them. We want what GOD wants for them.

It is the HOLY SPIRIT's job to give us this information. No person can tell Georgia or Brian or me or anyone else what is God's path for our lives. Only God's Spirit can do this.

I hope I don't sound sanctimonious myself — but it hurts my heart to see how deeply wounded some of my friends have been by this.

And, well, I stand by my friends as we all make our way through our Christian walks, and I won't be timid in standing with them when they need an ally.

Georgia, God is your defender. He goes before you. He surrounds you. He has your rear guard. He is the Lion of Judah and a precious lamb. He is the ultimate in strength while being the ultimate in humility. He will guide you, in His way, to His path for your girls.

The end. I hope I don't say anything else. Somebody ban me if I do. ;)

Georgia, I love you. You are loved and admired by so many.

Chin up sister!

Anonymous said...

This whole thing just hurts my heart for EVERYBODY. I feel like I do know the Arnolds' and Millers' hearts, and although I may disagree that homeschooling is commanded by the Deut. 6 passage, I can respect that as their interpretation/opinion (just as they have clarified). We do have to be so careful to present our convictions with grace, but we must also be careful to rebuke in love and grace. I'm with Georgia, I feel no love in any of this. This just breaks my heart for ALL my fellow brothers and sisters. Carrie

Anonymous said...

Okay, let's all step back and take a deep breath. This has become a petty high school gossip drama. Georgia asked for encouragement on this post -- Georgia, I encourage you to pray without ceasing! If I can help you in any way please let me know. While I encourage you to homeschool, if you choose not to --that's fine. Believe it or not we have friends who don't homeschool and would never make them feel inferior. I NEVER said that people who choose not to homeschool don't love their kids, are not Christians etc. Now to address Leisa's post, this is an open invitation to whoever we hurt to email us. We will discuss the wrongs and apologize if need be. If a Christian has an issue/problem with a fellow brother/sister in Christ, let him go to THAT person and seek a resolution. Others being accusatory and stating that my family (and another) have hurt various people (some who are anonymous) in no way rectifies the situation. It only fuels the fire. Let's remember that it is hard to read emotions through peoples comments on a blog - we can all get our feelings hurt, get defensive, and even wrongly accuse other posters of things that they never said. We were never angry, defensive, accusatory etc in our posts, we gave our opinion/interpretation of scripture - if you don't agree fine but don't turn it into something it's not. Cathy

Pretty in Pink said...

First this:

Ephesians 4

2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

15...speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
___________________
This topic has been on my heart and mind today. I realized that it was not my place to call out the Millers and the Arnolds and to ask them to apologize. I don't feel that it was wrong or unscriptural for me to say that friends have been hurt by their words, though. My heart was in the right place, but I went about it poorly. Cathy is right; it really isn't my place to try to intervene.

I'm a fixer. I almost always try to fix situations like this, and I almost always keep talking and talking and talking and talking to try to make everyone understand what they did wrong so we can all make up and be merry. (I live in a dream world where people use the word "merry" in normal conversation.);)

Anyway,despite all that "fixing," it almost always does zero good. Because it's not my job to fix after all. When will I get this once and for all?

So, to the Millers and the Arnolds, I apologize for calling you out and making you feel accused.

And that word accused leads me to why I decided to comment again today.

Lots of us are feeling like we've been accused in one way or another.

Accusations come from one source: the Accuser.

We have almost all given the devil a foothold here. We are believing his lies and accusing one another when I believe that all of our hearts are sincere.

I'm not saying that a lot of the words that were said weren't hurtful because they were. BUT Cathy has stated herself that this was never her intention. At the same time, she was feeling accused by my words — and I know it was not in my heart to accuse.

It's all twisted and turned around — and I think that's a sure sign that we all of us have been duped by the devil.

Which brings me back to the Scripture I quoted above. Let's don't give the devil anymore ground.

Let's all:

32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

See? There I go, trying to fix it again.

But this time, I'm leaving it in God's hands.

I am sorry that my friends were hurt, and I am sorry that the Millers were hurt (and the Arnolds?)

I'm sorry for all of this and for everyone. I want us to all make up and be jolly. Is that possible?

I love everyone; you're next!

Lindsay said...

Jolly & merry - here I am!

I appreciate the sincerity of your post, Leisa. This is SUCH a hard medium to communicate through, and that needs to be taken into account.

If anyone was hurt by my words, I apologize. I feel very strongly about this subject, and I personally LOVE to debate with people - but it's not fun with people who don't want to debate, either =)

Anyway, if anybody gets itching for another debate, shoot it my way. I've got thick skin.