Tuesday, October 31, 2006


The outage has completed, but Brian is still working excessively. Hopely that will draw to a close as well. Sunday, Brian didn't go to work at all and it seemed almost decadent to have him home all day. We have received the check that had 85 hours of overtime on it. That was nice. Almost makes it worth while.

Relations with my family seem to be thawing. I spoke with my brother at length on Sunday and assume he harbors no ill will toward me for interfering in his life. At least he doesn't have the courage of his convictions to not take money and gifts from me. I sent a package to my and Brian's parents with pictures of and by the girls. (A trick I learned on FlyLady to direct kid clutter somewhere other than my house.) I received an email from my dad thanking me and telling me that he heard (from my brother) that we were planning on coming that way. They want to know our plans because they don't want to miss seeing us while they might be out of town. He said "everyone" so I guess that includes me. He said "we" so I guess that includes my mother.

Brian has set his vacation and will be taking the last 2 weeks in December. This time was not my preference. I wanted to leave on Thanksgiving and stay until about the 3rd of December so that we could have Christmas in our own home and not have to do anything anyone else wanted us to do. It seems like every Christmas since we have been married has been half-baked. I wanted us to start our own traditions. One that didn't involve us traveling anywhere or feeling obligated to anyone else. That's the biggest part...that feeling of obligation, more commonly known as The Guilt Trip.

Brian got jerked around so much this year because of the transfer and all the OJT and the schools that he didn't get to take his vacation when he intended and now he's stuck taking it at the end of the year. If he doesn't take it now, it won't roll over and it seems a shame to waste 3 weeks of days. I, for one, don't want to stay here day in and day out for 2 weeks with him not working so "home" we will go for about 10 days. Brian is afraid he's going to be bored out of his mind. Surely there are some people who will still want to see us, even after the "Homeschooling" discussion. I know several people I would like to get together with...if only to pick their brains.

My training is going well. I continue to improve and Amy has assigned me 10 miles of cardio per week. It's not really as difficult as I thought it was going to be. My body will allow me to stay on the elliptical for 30 minutes thus giving me over 2 miles in one sitting. When I first started working out, I thought there was no way in the world that I would be able to go 10 minutes, but look at me now. I haven't been motivated to do much of anything the last couple of weeks, but I think my motivation is coming back. I'm definitely getting stronger and my muscles are becoming visible. I train with Amy on Friday and she'll take my measurements again to see how I'm really doing.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Halloween Carnival vs. Fall Festival

Okay, what's the difference and what's the point?

When I was growing up, our school had a Halloween carnival every year with a cake walk and I don't remember what else. It was always the last Saturday of the month of October and it was so fun. Our town always had a Halloween parade and then we would go to the carnival and then over to the Main Street Fair, also tons of fun. But the Main Street Fair lost its allure several years ago and has now moved to some sort of Christmas something or other.

My mother felt like only religious fanatics didn't celebrate Halloween and we certainly weren't fanatics. I remember as a youth in youth group watching a video about devil worship on Halloween. I walked away with the impression that Halloween was okay as long as you weren't worshipping the devil. That was really the church's only statement on the whole sordid affair, to my knowledge anyway.

And now, many, many churches are having "Fall Festivals". Well, what is the difference between that and the old-fashioned Halloween carnivals? Hayride? Check. Bobbing for apples? Check. Costumes? Check. Candy? Check. Confetti eggs? Check. It's still the same time of the year (even the same weekend). So what's the point? Why are we even bothering to call it a Fall Festival? Just call it a Halloween Carnival and be done with it. It's the exact same thing.

Don't get me wrong...I don't really have a problem with it either way, except that doesn't really feel right either. It seems almost inbred in me that as Christians we are supposed to hate Halloween because that's the Enemy's holiday. But there's something in me that is just bucking the system on that one.

I think if you want to have a real Fall Festival, have it in November where you're less likely to fall out from heatstroke and less likely to make the lost think that the church is finally condoning Halloween. Even unbelievers know what a Fall Festival held on the last weekend of October is.

Should We Encourage Our Daughters To Go To College?

In light of some of my recent thoughts, I have pondered this idea as well. Should we encourage (and pay for) our daughters to go to college? About 18 months ago, Brian and I discussed this and I was appalled at the injustice that the very idea screamed at me. What possible reason in the world could a parent have for not encouraging a girl to further her education? I railed against the injustice. Not that Brian agreed with that idea...he was just throwing it out there. Preposterous, I said. Utterly ridiculous.

But is it?

The biggest hurdle I have to contentedness and joy as a stay-at-home mom is actually accepting the fact that I am a stay-at-home mom with every intention of homeschooling my children. But why? Didn't you get the memo? I'm supposed to be doing "something" with my life. Yes, I know, answering the call of nurturing my family is my highest calling. Somewhere in the back of my head, there are lots of times that I feel like that is what I have to do because I didn't finish my education. Had I finished, I could be doing something really rewarding. I could be doing something that I really like (like accounting) instead of something that most days just drives me to distraction. I know that if I were in a high rise somewhere counting beans, I would be missing huge, key moments in my daughters' lives and I would be singing the sad song that working mothers sing.

So every day I fight with myself and I guess my point in all of this is...what if I'd been taught from birth on that raising a family was the greatest honor and joy for a woman? Would I still have this struggle inside of me to break free and run screaming to the university to get my accounting degree so that I can "do something" with my life? Brian says I can go to school any time I want...but what's the point? I'm gonna be a homeschooling mom when I grow up.

I just want to protect my girls from some of my struggles and heartaches and longings. If being a wife and a mother is the highest calling, why would I even want them to consider engineering or medicine or accounting? Why wouldn't I prepare them for the highest calling? Maybe it's better not to wake the sleeping giant of achievement in their hearts.

I Am An Aunt

In the course of the last few months, I have had very limited contact with my family. I wondered how (or if) I would know when Susie had her baby or if something bad happened to one of my parents. I knew that Susie and Sam's baby was due at the end of this month.

Tonight after Bible study, I had a message from my brother. I haven't spoken to my brother since June when I found out they were expecting and certainly not since I had my talk with Susie. I don't know where they are living or what they are doing. But tonight, my brother, his voice full of pride, called to tell me that I was an aunt and that his son "had everything he should have and nothing he shouldn't". The baby (between the answering machine and the cell phone, I couldn't catch the name, but it wasn't Bocephus Boudreaux) weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces and was 19 and a half inches long.

And my brother told me that he loved me. Lily has prayed for Sam and Susie and their baby for months now. I am ashamed to admit that I have not been as faithful. I called him back and got his voice mail, but I told him how proud I was and happy for them and to let me know how I could help.

I'm hoping there is restoration in that relationship.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Root of It All....

I've been following a very interesting discussion on Tom's blog and rather than muddle his blog, I'll post my thoughts here.

I never thought it made any difference. Christian or non-Christian. You decide how many children you want and then you have that many (God willing, of course). Once your perfect family is complete, use any number of available birth control methods to ensure (to the best of your ability) that you don't have any more except through God's divine intervention or forgetfulness. I never thought that one birth control method would be better or worse than another and I never thought how those various methods actually worked either. I only thought that they prevented pregnancy in varying states of permanence and that was the point. At least, it was the only thing I was interested in.

I have always thought that 2 children were plenty. I came from a family with 2 children. I had less fear of a total uprising with an equivalent number of parents and children. We would have an even number of people for rides at Astroworld (which I realize is now deceased). We would have no middle child and thus, no middle child syndrome...everything would be even. (Although, to be completely honest, nothing in my family has ever been even or equal.)

Brian has always had his heart set on 3. He comes from a family of 3 sons and so this seems like a perfect number to him.

And the debate continues. Brian is wise in that he knows not to push me on any particular issue. Pushing any issue will only cause me to run at breakneck speed to the other side. However, time continues to show that I usually come to where I need to be. Cases in point: breastfeeding, being a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling.

I am beginning to see the problem in all this...my feminism. If you had asked me 15 years ago what the course of my life was going to be...it wasn't going to be as a wife and mother. I saw no importance in that whatsoever. Of course, part of that thinking was due to the fact that I strongly believed that I would never find anyone to marry me and that I had been told it was very unlikely that I would ever have children.

I was taught that you had to depend on yourself and be able to take care of yourself.

When I heard men talking about not using birth control, I would get my nose way out of joint. Women, not that I heard very many in my social circle talking about unlimited children, I just thought were nuts. At least the women would actually be carrying the child and taking care of it instead of issuing a directive while going off to the office and talking to people who can talk back.

When I told my mother that Brian wanted 3 and I only wanted 2, she confirmed what I was thinking. He wasn't the one that was going to have to carry it and have it and take care of it. So he didn't get a vote.

And that's the way I was raised and that is the way I think, initially at gut-reaction level. It is my decision how many children to have or whether to work or to homeschool or even to have pink carpet.

Biblically, I know my role is to be the heart of the home. To take care of my husband and my children. To be Brian's helper. Some days I like doing that. Some days, I'd like to leave and never come back. And on those days, I wonder...what about me? I didn't finish college and I still have some aspirations of finishing. Sometimes it makes me feel like a failure. I don't have something that's just mine. Everything I have, I have to share. I wonder if I would have the same selfish attitude to overcome if being able to "take care of myself" hadn't been drilled into my head for as long as I can remember.

With that selfish attitude on my role in this family, is the selfish attitude that I don't want any more of God's blessings, thank you very much. Two are just fine with me. I am just starting to realize how ridiculous that sounds. Why in the world would I want to tell God to keep His blessings? There is no wisdom in that statement. Don't get me wrong, I have good worldly reasons. We are living in a 900 square foot apartment! I have plenty of good reasons to not want more children. I am being convicted HARD CORE on two levels that this way of thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong. One level is the form of birth control we are using. We both feel that this is wrong. This has been on my heart for a while. I have started reading 2 books that addressed this topic in one fashion or another and when I read that part, I put the book back on the shelf. Nope. Not interested in hearing that.

And the second, well, that's the trust issue. I feel like we need to trust God that He will give or not give us what we can handle. I feel certain it says that somewhere in the Bible. Frankly, it's a very simple point, as points go. You know, let God do His thing. One thing that we've been able to tie this to is our feeling of debt and letting God take care of those needs.

Brian and I feel very strongly about not going into any further debt. When we were getting ready to sell the house, we were in a big hurry and had to get a lot of things done that we had intended to get done over time. People were starting to want their money. I told Brian that we needed to get a loan so that we could take care of these immediate needs and then pay off the balance when the house sold. Brian said "no" and we put our faith in God instead of Wells Fargo and everything was taken care of. Only one company asked to be paid at a time. Brian got the moving allowance way ahead of schedule. All these little things happened so that we were able to honor our commitments.

Now. God wants us to put our trust and faith in Him, in all things. In fact, I'm sure I read somewhere that "without faith, it is impossible to please God." He also says things like, "Fear not" and that He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory. I guess the question is....are we going to trust in God or trust in ourselves? I feel like God is telling me to trust in Him on this particular issue that He's hammering on me. His ways are not our ways and our ways are not His ways. And Brian's thinking is basically, look twice at whatever you're doing that the world agrees with...

My next hot topic is going to be....Should we encourage (or pay for) our daughters to go to college?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Middle of October

How is it already the middle of October?

They came and replaced the carpet upstairs this week. I got a notice on the door Monday to let me know that it would be done on Tuesday, at some point. This has been so aggravating to me...I feel like the carpet should have been replaced before we moved in because it definitely needed it. The carpet is ugly, to say the least (looks like the contractor's special that my parents' house had when it was built in 1977), but it's better than what it was by leaps and bounds.

In order to get out of the house, I ended up taking the girls to the mall in Fort Worth so I could pick up Darcy's pictures. They turned out so well! I know that I'm partial, but that girl takes some very nice pictures. Of course, I am learning that it has a lot to do with the photographer. We have tried to get Darcy's picture taken in the same dresses that Lily has had her picture taken in. I like to compare them to each other.

Lily's First Birthday
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Darcy's First Birthday
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And a couple other really cute pictures of Darcy because the photographer was so good:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The last couple of days, Darcy has been running a fever, but no other symptoms. I'm going to assume that it's from teething, but I don't know for sure. I just don't want Lily to get it, if it's not teething. Brian has been sick and the girls, too, but I have managed to escape major illness. I have been feeling so blah lately, I can't describe it. I feel like my head is in a fog and I don't have the energy or the inclination to do much of anything. For a while, I was feeling so good about everything, but lately, I don't care about anything.

I did learn the other day that I can read a magazine while I'm on the tread mill. 20 minutes went by in no time while I was reading Good Housekeeping. If I can read on the tread mill, then maybe I could read on the elliptical...that always seems like the longest 15 minutes of my life.

I'm thinking I need to go find something constructive to do...

Monday, October 09, 2006


Things have sure slowed down on my blog. Finally. I like the blogging format, but with a diary site like www.inthewire.com or www.opendiary.com, you can really limit who sees what. You can make entries Private, Friends Only, Favorites Only and limit exactly who can comment and who can't. That's probably what I should have done, except I wanted the input of the people who usually read my blog. Oh well. I guess I could use my diaries to really talk about Brian and other things that I'm sure that I don't want everyone who knows me to know.

Brian has been working a ton of hours with this outage that just started late last week; he had nearly 40 hours of overtime last week. I am so thankful that he gets paid that overtime.

I have been working on a schedule to get things running smoother since it seems we have a ton of things that we are involved in. Between 2 Bible studies and my fitness classes and Kid's Day Out and Mom's Night Out and MOPS and on and on and on...I need a different schedule for each day of the week so I can balance working out with cleaning the house and making sure that the girls get up and take naps at the appropriate times, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to make a schedule for each day of the week and then I'm going to put it in my FlyLady Control Journal. And I'm going to use it.

My Body Blast class on Saturday was MURDER. It was terrible. I wanted to leave and quit and never, never, ever come back. But I didn't. Mostly because my trainer was watching the girls for me so that I could go in the first place. Any class that starts out with me running laps is never good. I hate to run. Running is the worst thing in the world. I can't think of anything I'd rather do less...than run. Brian thinks it's fun. Sick, I know. I did go to the gym this morning with the girls. I really hate taking them to the childcare there. It is not up to the standard that I'm used to for child care. There's nothing wrong with it, exactly, except there seems to be a bunch of forlorn-looking kids waiting, barely being supervised, while their parents work out. I do the bare minimum workout when they are there with me and then leave. I tried to get my abs in at home with my Mari Windsor Pilates Ab workout, but Lily wouldn't stop crawling all over me. Now my overall fitness has definitely improved, but not so much that I can do abdominal exercises with a 30# child sitting on my chest.

Today started at just after 6am, which is incredibly early for me. I am not an early riser, nor am I am morning person. I also did not sleep well last night after going to bed at 11:30pm. But I've gotten so much accomplished today. I started out the day reading my Bible. (Which I never do. I almost always read it at night or during the girls' naptime.) I was very behind on laundry; now I'm caught up. The living room has been dusted and vacuumed. I went and worked out. I've got a plan for supper and am just about to start implementing it. The kitchen is clean and the checkbook is balanced. Brian came home in the middle of the day so I didn't work this afternoon again, but he'll be working tonight and after Bible Study, so will I. I am way behind and need to get caught up. And since I got up early, hopefully, I can go to bed early and sleep better.

Maybe tomorrow will go as well.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Early Saturday Morning

Last night I worked out with the trainer. This entire week I have not been able to go to the gym as much as I ususally do and it really showed when I got together with Amy. The truth be known, I didn't want to go at all and had it not been for a prearraged appointment with her, I might not have gone. I guess that's the benefit, for me, of working with the trainer. I have to be accountable to someone who can actually hold me accountable.

I don't know if the workout was harder than usual, or if my absence this week from the gym made it seem harder, but I was not happy when I got home. It felt like everything we did was super tough and I was getting very frustrated. Had I not been paying her for her time and expertise, I feel very strongly that I might have just thrown down that red resistance band and said, "I'm finished. Thanks so much, but I've had enough." But I didn't. I ususally feel very good when I get done working out, like I've accomplished something. This time, I just drug home and felt crummy.

When Brian left this morning at 5:30, I must have sneezed about 8 times so I decided to go ahead and get up. I'm going to go to the Body Blast class this morning. Amy offered to come and watch my girls so that I could go. The girl that teaches that class is a demon. She also teaches Pilates on Tuesday and she's tough in there, too. But I always feel worked over when I leave those classes. And when I go to the classes, I give myself permission to avoid the elliptical machine. Although I don't know why I dislike it so much...it's the biggest measurement of my improvement besides the results on my body.

I am ready for some cooler weather and I think we're going to get that next week. We got our 2nd light bill since we've been here and it was $225. Last month it was $200. We live in a 900 square foot apartment. Our electricity bill wasn't that high in our house. Of course, we had obnoxious windows that never let anything in or out (except spiders) and the doors didn't have big gaps, either. There are benefits to living in an apartment, but the excessively high electric bills aren't one of them. We'll probably be freezing in here in the winter, but at least heat rises and hopefully the girls will stay warm at night. I worry about these things.

Family-Integrated Churches

Here is another opportunity to share your heart. Someone is asking about the benefit of family-integrated churches:

Home Churches Anyone?

I know that I don't know all the ins and outs of it all, but would be interested in hearing more information.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Mom's Night Out

Last night, I had set up an impromptu, un-official Mom's Night Out for some of the girls who weren't able to make it to the official one last week. What a disaster! Actually, the whole day was in the toilet from start to finish. The day started out poorly because of migraine and med leftovers in my system from the day before. Darcy refused to drink her cow's milk, either out of a cup or a bottle and I refused to fix formula. So she sat there and cried and I did, too. Poor Lily didn't know what to make of it all. The day just got worse from there.

My truck was supposed to be finished on Tuesday, but wasn't. Same for Wednesday. Finally it was ready late afternoon Thursday, but with Brian working 12+ hours a day, there was no way to pick it up until well after closing time. They were kind enough to bring it by the house so that they could pick up a check and I could finally have transportation. Seems like I feel worse knowing there is no way to escape all the madness.

Brian was supposed to be home in time for me to go out so he could watch the girls. I did fix supper, including making cornbread so it wasn't like he was going to be stuck eating leftovers or something. It kept getting closer and closer to 7pm and he kept not being here....and I couldn't reach him on his cell phone. Finally, at 7:15 I try his desk again and he answers it...I was so furious. My friend was going to leave her daughter with him so that she could go, and now I had to tell her that wasn't going to happen either. She was a much better sport about it than I was, that's for sure. We ended up taking all the kids for our Mom's Night Out which worked out okay because the other mom that was there did manage to escape her children so she took over watching Lily.

Brian finally showed up and took all 3 girls back to the house so we could finish our dinner in peace so he won lots of points for that.

Darcy had her one year check up today...doing well except the fact that she refuses to drink cold milk and refuses to walk. I can't imagine where in the world that girl gets that stubborn streak. I don't think Lily was nearly as stubborn...I don't even know if that's the right word. There are times that Darcy seems to be openly defiant. It doesn't matter how many times you tell her "no" or spank her hand or her fat little thigh, she keeps going right back to it. She's a happy baby...as long as she's getting what she wants. Isn't she a little young to be digging her heels in like this?

Thursday, October 05, 2006


I need to clarify a few points...so that we all have the right idea.

Whether or not commenters were speaking out of love, I felt no love. Period. I felt attacked and condemned. I felt like an innocent question asked in a safe environment was made very hostile. With love, I would think that someone might have asked what in the world happened that made me go this way. Instead, I felt browbeat and punch drunk from all the "love". So, to those of you that were acting in "love" you may want to work on your delivery.

Yes, I am struggling with this. Absolutely. I needed some encouragement because, to be completely transparent...no one out here homeschools. I did not want to be a pioneer and I thought if no one out here homeschools, then there must be a reason for it. The strongest Christians that we know send their kids to public school. We have been told that there are many, many Christians in key roles in the school district. The support groups in this area are disorganized at best. And it would be much easier. But I do not feel useless as a mother and I am fully aware of what my calling is. Let me further point out for the whole group: no one has "drug" me into the idea of homeschooling or drug me out. I have always had my own mind and that will continue to be so.

We are very thankful for friends who have shared their experiences with us. But sometimes it's okay to use a gentle hand. Especially when you think you know someone's heart.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Whew!! Glad that's over.

This week started Brian's 12-hour days for this outage. It's not really that much different than what he was working, except now it's required. He still leaves very early in the morning and doesn't get home until the girls are eating supper. By the time he does get home, I usually have some Brian-encouraged activity to go to anyway so we just pass each other in the evenings until I get home again.

Last night when I got home, the pastor and associate pastor were standing in my living room, which was not company ready, by the way. The upstairs was in much better shape since I dusted and vacuumed up there yesterday, but hadn't gotten to the downstairs yet. They were here to talk to Brian, not give the house a white glove inspection. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Can you believe they didn't even call first? What is that all about?

Things are still going well at the gym. In the past month, I've lost 11 pounds, and about 5 inches overall which makes me feel very good and very proud of myself. I am well on my way to getting to where I want to be which makes me very happy. Someone asked how I am able to stay motivated and I believe it has everything in the world to do with my trainer. She has a vested interest in how well I do and I really feel like she cares about me. When I told her how I'd gone 10 minutes on the elliptical (consecutively--an all time record for me), she gave me a huge hug and told me that she was so proud of me. When she and I work together, she's taking time away from her family to devote to me, so if I do things halfway, I'm stealing from her family and mine and that helps keep me motivated. Not to mention, I love how I feel. I really love it (this sounds sick), when I come home and I am sore...that tells me it's all working. I make Brian feel my muscles and I pretend like he's very impressed and not just obliging me.

Darcy had her first birthday last week and we didn't really do the best job of celebrating it. We've just had a ton of prior commitments going on that made it nearly impossible. I'm going to make a cake today so we can sit down as a family and celebrate it. We gave her some gifts the other day and of course, Lily is completely fascinated by them. Isn't that the way it always goes? I end up feeling like the worst mother in the world because Darcy always seems to get the short end of the stick, compared to her sister. For Lily's first birthday, we had a big party with lots of people and food. Lily lived the first 6 months of her life, in her bed, in her room, in our house. Darcy lived the first six months of her life, in 3 different places in a tiny bassenette until she exceeded the weight limit. Darcy is definitely the most well-adjusted, easily adaptable child of the two. She has no problem at all with change and she has the best disposition of any baby I've seen. But she knows her own mind and doesn't want or need your help, thank you very much. I thought she'd be walking by now, chasing Lily, but Lily stays pretty close to her so Darcy doesn't have to go very far. I feel certain that she will walk when she's good and ready and not a second before. Just like Lily did.

Monday, October 02, 2006

My Opinion

First of all...I'm about as surprised as I can be about the influx of comments on this particular topic, especially from people that I had no idea were readers. However, there are still some regular readers that haven't commented and I am very interested in hearing your opinions. (You know who you are.) Please don't refrain from comment because you feel this is now too hostile an environment.

I already knew that people feel strongly whether to homeschool or not and that was reiterated time and time again. People always feel strongly where their children are concerned and I am no exception. But I do not completely agree with any of you. And by "you", I even mean my own husband. It's no big leap to say that my opinion has changed recently and changed very drastically. To be completely honest, I know I would have never come to this conclusion if we hadn't moved here.

Believers are called to be a light to the world and bring people to the Lord. I firmly believe that this directive from Christ applies to children that are saved as well. How are we going to make a difference for Jesus if everywhere we go is bright and we are constantly surrounded by other Believers? Wives that stay home and homeschool their children aren't getting much time to spread the Word. We are surrounded by our children demanding our attention, surrounded by other Believers when we go to our homeschooling co-ops and our church groups and our Mom's Night Out organized by other Believers. A child can share the joy of knowing Jesus, too. Thank the Lord that Jesus didn't just socialize with his disciples and call it a day. Thank God that He saw fit to talk to the woman at the well and hang out with the lepers and the sinners, as well as other Believers. We are called to be Christ-like and there is nothing more Christ-like than loving other people, the unsaved and the saved, even when it's messy for us. That's what draws people to Christ. Being different. People can get condemnation and finger-pointing in the world. Christians are to be different.

Don't get me wrong. There was a time (about 10 days ago) when I was very pro-homeschooling. I thought that I needed to be the primary influence in their life because I thought that I could successfully protect them from every evil. If God can protect us and keep us safe in every other situation, then why can't we entrust our children to Him as well? I think if we address the idea of a heart change and not robotic obedience because of fear of punishment, our children will thrive and be a light, no matter where they go to school.

But my husband disagrees wtih me...greatly. You might even call it vehemently. It's not that it's a major issue right now (although it certainly feels like it) since our oldest daughter is just barely 2 years old. I can see one of two things happening here. Either we get on the same page and come to a decision, or this becomes a lesson in submission for me. I'm praying that we get on the same page because those submission lessons are never fun.