There is an ongoing battle at my house when the Hallmark Holidays come around. I can't speak for all women everywhere, but I love it when my husband takes the time to be thoughtful and deliberate, no matter the holiday. We've only been married for 5 and a half years so I can still remember when he was full of surprises, probably because he was wooing me and didn't have a job to divert his attention.
I don't like making demands on what I'd like to do for Valentine's Day (Hallmark holiday he'd rather not celebrate), our anniversary (holiday it's acceptable to celebrate), Mother's Day (Hallmark holiday) or my birthday (acceptable holiday). I really want Brian to take the inititive and come up with something fun, amazing, different and romantic. Also, I would like for him to arrange for the babysitter as well. Surely, that can't be too much to ask. What is he really doing at work anyway?
Brian really balks at celebrating Mother's Day. He sees it as some further government ploy to exercise control over his life. Who is the goverment to tell people when to celebrate mothers? And furthermore, I am not even his mother. Telling him, "Fine, we won't celebrate Father's Day. No ties or barbeque implements or special meals for you," doesn't phase him a bit. Why is that?
Why is it that fathers (even my own father) say it's okay to forget Father's Day, but not Mother's Day? [Except for Brian. He doesn't care about either one.] Is it because those guys realize that Mother's Day is important to mothers, even if they don't think they're important? And what about Father's Day? Why is it okay to skip that day? My husband doesn't care if we celebrate Father's Day, my dad said we didn't have to, even the pastor at church Sunday said during the Children's Sermon that it was okay to forget Father's Day, but not to forget Mother's Day.
What is the deal?
There are many days I feel unappreciated, etc., and dinner out on the day designated as Mother's Day doesn't do much to alleviate that feeling. Brian watches the girls all the time so I can do things away from home. I take quilting and scrapbooking classes, do accounting work, get my hair and nails done when needed, meet my friends for dinner or coffee. Maybe I'm just an ungrateful person who wants it all.
Even though Brian thinks government sanctioned Mother's Day is stupid, he took all 3 kids to visit his parents...alone. I stayed in Mudville so that I could have time to myself....at home, alone. And it was wonderful. I don't think this has ever happened before. I got to eat by myself at restaurants while I read a magazine. I didn't have to talk to anyone or referee the meal. I spent 3 hours at the fabric store picking out fabric for my new quilting class and getting a lesson on binding. Saturday, I slept in until 10 or so and then went to the used book store and the grocery store. Sunday, I made special coffee and my favorite blueberry muffins...just for myself. I had lunch with a friend who is expecting twins. I never even turned the TV on.
It was wonderful. I think we should do this every month.
5 comments:
Oh my, I think Brian and Aaron are a lot alike. Aaron doesn't care about holidays. Not just the minor ones, even Christmas and Easter simply because they are all so commercial. Birthdays are fine (except his, he tells us all the time he doesn't want anything) and anniversaries can be celebrated. We have been married 6 years and have added 4 kids in that time! We rarely go out on dates. The only person to watch the kids is my mom and she is feeling outnumbered lately. I wonder if dates etc. are as important to guys as they are to us? As far as being an ungrateful person, I take the award. In fact, I think I might blog about gratefulness/contentment.
Cathy
Cathy, I have my doubts about Christmas and Easter, as well. Not as much Easter, because Jesus rose on Easter either way, which is the important part. Christmas was chosen to incorporate pagan celebrations into the Christian construct. I even suggested that we should stop buying presents before Christmas, and instead take advantage of the after-Christmas sales to get our booty. That was not well-received.
AWESOME!!!! Quiet...Alone...Peace...these are words that are not in my vocabulary right now!
Whether Brian did this because he was celebrating a government-sanctioned holiday, or just because he knew you needed it, doesn't really matter. Fact is, it happened! Praise the Lord!
Brian is mis-informed. Mother's day is not a governmentholiday although the gov't may have supported it's beginning. No one gets off for Mother's/Father's Day. The mail doesn't stop, and government offices don't close. It's now strictly a business creation, after having been proposed by somenone wishing to honor his/ser mother. THEREFORE, he needs to chill about it and observe it JUST BECAUSE YOu wish the recognition. As his father says when I comment thet I am not his (Edward's) mother, he sys,"But you are the mother of my chikdern>and without you he would not have his three beautiful, beloved daugheters/
I think you should do it every month or at least every other month. To get Brian on board, give him a weekend of his own to look forward to then yell "SWITCH" when you need yours!
Kellie
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