Well, in short, I blew it. It's about this point in time I am wishing I hadn't committed to posting my progress. At least I could keep my failures private. I am hoping that this "accountability" of sorts will at least help keep me honest.
I try to analyze my eating, but I just can't get a handle on it. I honestly don't know why I do the things I do. I do know that I'm no different than lots of other people who feel like they have to eat because "it's there" or thinking that the day is already blown so why not go ahead and blow it right out of the water. That kind of behavior is what got me to this point in the first place.
We keep going to the Hokey Pokey place even though I know that I cannot control my eating there. The funny thing is, we have to drive 35 minutes to another town just to get there. That's how bad we want to eat there. In fact (and this is the piece de resistance) for last night's meeting, I went to weigh in, but didn't stay for the meeting. Why? So we could go ahead and leave for the Hokey Pokey place where I proceeded to eat everything in sight. Seems downright pathetic. And I don't know how to stop.
I have even been convicted on a spiritual level. I have read and reread Proverbs 31. One section that I have been particularly made aware of is that the wife of noble character does not have suffer the consequences of laziness. In my own personal life, I suffer the consequences of laziness quite a bit. A lot, actually. More than I really care to admit. When I am thinking clearly and not completely absorbed in just myself and what I want, I try to identify what the consequences of this or that lazy action (or more often, inaction) might be. I have already identified several, if not all, of the consequences of eating out. In fact, I wrote them up on a postcard and taped them to the refrigerator. IN BIG ORANGE LETTERS. Identified consequences include: weight gain; girls off schedule; strains family finances; already purchased food wasted; reinforces poor eating habits; perpetuates a lack of contentedness; perpetuates a lack of discipline.
Goals for this week: When we talk of going out to eat, hold it up against the consequences. If we drive all the way to the Hokey Pokey place, will it affect the girls' schedule? Will we be back in time for them to take a bath and be to bed on time? Was there meat already taken out for supper? Do we have the money or is it going to take Enron accounting to make it work? Is it going to reinforce poor eating habits?
What I can do to make it easier to decide whether we are going out to eat or not is to have supper cooked or in progress when Brian gets home. Every week, I prepare a menu and every week I buy groceries to prepare said meals. I am actually quite organized about it all. So, all that to say.....we have eaten out 3 times this week and it is just Friday morning. Next week, my goal is so that we only eat out once although eating out twice would be an improvement.
Weight loss this week: gained 2.6 pounds
Total loss to date: -5.2 pounds