Further Ranting

I'm just boiling over today, mad at the whole world:

1. This house is freezing. It's insulated terribly with gaps and crevices for the wind to blow through. Everyone dresses in layers at night and has several blankets on their bed.

2. The kitchen is always a mess. I've cleaned it up this morning, but by the time lunch is over, it'll be a mess again. At meals, I am too busy being a waitress to put anything away or even have my own lunch sitting down at the table.

3. Reagan's training cup was MIA last night. Brian and I were very perplexed because it hasn't been known to remove itself from the kitchen of its own accord. This morning I was told it was in the bathroom on the floor behind the shower. Seriously? Why? Why would someone throw a cup on the floor behind the shower where a special effort was needed to reach it?

4. All of the disasters that go on in the bathroom when 2 little girls are supposed to be using the potty and washing their hands. Like the yards of wasted toilet paper on the floor, water everywhere and wet sleeves. With 3 girls and myself, the potential toilet paper usage is huge. I think we're going to go to cloth wipes. I made a quilt. I'm sure I can sew these things together.

5. Little children who stand and scream at each other outside a napping child's room. Why? Why would they do this?

6. Little children who have a new big girl bed and refuse to remain in it without severe, repeated penalties. Her independence is not worth my sanity, is it? Three years old is old enough to be in a real bed, isn't it? THEN WHY WON'T SHE STAY IN IT? Why does she insist on pulling up the rug, and whatever else crosses her mind when she's supposed to be in it?

I'm stopping here because I'm coming up with more and more things and I'm not feeling any better about it. I feel like I'm locked into this situation and there is no escape for years and years. I know that things aren't always going to be this bad, but honestly, I can't see beyond right now. I have a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a one year old. It's going to be like this for a while.

Downright Mean

What can I do about a girl who is just plain ol' mean? Who is mean-spririted just to be mean? Is this a birth order problem? Is this a personality disorder? Is this a result of my less than stellar parenting? That's my biggest fear; that I am directly responsible for this hateful side of my child that barely tolerates me, at best.

I can already report that spanking her into submission is futile. Period. I need a better way to deal with this than the current method. It is the constant back-and-forth between the girls that I cannot stand. One kid is mean, the other whines and tattles, I get angry and do what I do, and the cycle begins again. Enter into this equation the homeschooling that is about to take place, and I picture myself gnawing on the end of a gun. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next 20 years? Because to be honest, I just don't have it in me. And to lay it further out on the table, I don't want it in me. I don't want to scratch and claw my way through survival.

What else can be done?

I Made This!

In case there was some person who was remotely interested and did not see this on MySpace or Facebook, I made these:

I'm very proud of myself because I came up with the idea all by myself, and quite by accident, too. I had purchased 2 hangers when school started thinking that I would paint them and put the older girls' names on them and hang them low so they could be responsible for their own jackets and bags. Weeks came and went and I finally painted them. I also purchased a stencil to paint letters and flowers. Painting went well. Stencil-painting on Darcy's, not so good. It was really quite ugly and there was no way I was going to hang that up on the wall and say I made it.

So they sat on my table blocking the path for me to finish my quilts. I finally decided this weekend that I wanted to finish Darcy's quilt that was started in March, but I was working a system of getting my area cleared off and cleaned up so I could work. I bought an extra rack so I could toss Darcy's screw-up in the trash, but didn't know what I'd be able to do. The stencil wasn't going to work, what could I do? So I got out my stamps.

Stamping was good, except the ink didn't interact well with the paint. What to do? Finally a light bulb went on. Why couldn't I cover them with paper and embellish like a scrapbook page? So that's what I did. I went through my scraps and found ones that would fit and work with the colors already painted on. I finished Lily's and Darcy's and instead of taking the extra back, I made another one for Reagan.

I am so proud of myself because I did it all by myself. And the girls thought they were beautiful, too.

Yea me!