Thursday, August 21, 2008

Passionate Housewives Desperate For God

I am reading Passionate Housewives Desperate For God. It's been a tough read for me, and I can't quite figure out why. Is it because I truly disagree with what they're promoting or is it because I am weighted down with conviction?

If I were to be honest, I think it may be some of both.

At this point in time, I am only giving it a surface read. I'm not reading it with my Bible out, checking references. I am trying to get the gist of it. I think the authors make some interesting points. Although, I don't know if I'm willing to read it again without the chip on my shoulder. Perhaps I should start over and read it with my Bible and an open mind.

However, those ladies seem to be in a different place in their lives than I. I want the phase of my life where I judge others for their decisions to be over. I definitely want judgment of my life to be over. I am tired of comparing myself to what other moms/women/families are doing and not measuring up to some pre-conceived notion. I admit that the pre-conceived notion is often one of my own conception, but it's based on a comparison of lives I am ill-equipped to emulate. I can't copy the housekeeping regimen of a friend who doesn't have children. Or even the regimen of families that have older children to help. I must accept my limitations. Or at least the idea that I may possibly have limitations. It's a process.

I guess the good thing about the book, even if I'm not in complete agreement with the authors, it's causing me to think, reflect and contemplate my own life and what God wants from me. And maybe that was the whole point.


shann said...

I'm right there with you. I am tired of comparing myself to every other mother. I fluctuate between acknowledging that God made me unique, which means I won't and can't do things like others, and feeling like a failure because everyone around me seems to be doing it better. I have gone through all the reasons why it's easier for that person to do it and I can't - their husbands work fewer hours, they have older children, they have parents that live in town, etc. What I have figured out, even if I don't always like it, is God put me in this life with all these kids, with no babysitter, no family near, etc. and His Word says He will never put more on me than what I can handle. I wish I could say this is always first and foremost in my mind when I feel stressed but when I start thinking this through I am reminded of this fact. One thing I have begun to do is figure out who I am and what I lean toward (clothing, colors, music, home decorating, hobbies, etc) and put those up against The Word to see if any of my preferences are wrong/sinful. I feel like I've gone from one extreme (anything goes) to another (if you are outside this box then you are wrong) and I'm convinced both are wrong. So what does right look like? All of this to say, look at who you are, all your unique qualities, all that makes you you and work with that. You will never do things exactly like anyone else but keep looking for hints and tips that will work for you and your family.

I am familiar with Stacy McDonald (one of the authors of the book) because she has spoken at the conference in Houston. I can honestly say I can't relate to her, but I know she has a lot of insight and outlooks that I could benefit from. I have pondered reading that book but I just don't think I can handle the guilt right now.

Sorry for the post within a post but I thought you could use some encouragement from someone who has been there. You will survive. Just take it one day at a time and sometimes partial days at a time.

Oh yea, the best thing Jeff did for me when our kids were that age was figure out something that someone else could do that would help our house run smoother. We love Retia!

carrie said...

I have read the book but do not wish to comment on it "publicly." Maybe we could discuss soon over the phone. Love ya!

Georgia said...

About 18 months ago, I came to the realization that the Lord thought I was beautiful, even though I never did. Even though I didn't meet the "standard". I learned that the Lord had just one standard for me, The Georgia Standard. And that He was well pleased with how I look.

Of late, I've been wondering if that same philosophy can be applied to other areas of my life. I know the Lord uses these things in our life to refine us and make us more like Him. Seems foolish to wish for other people's problems to get their results. I'd rather not suffer through the struggle of infertility so that I can experience a clean house.

I much prefer my laid-back husband who is supportive and kind and helpful, no matter how far off course I get. Another kind of husband might not be so understanding and the end result may appear that I am better at keeping house and maintaining my children. But what a small piece of the picture that would be.

I am becoming very frightened of some of the "Christian" resources I have seen. There are too many books with the supposed answers and not enough books pointing the way to individual relationships with God. Only a checklist of right and wrong. The only way I have been able to figure out what is best for me, is seeking the Lord.