The Dark Side

I am so tired. Pregnancy is hard on this body. When I'm not pregnant with my hormones wreaking havoc on the entire system and when I'm not fighting the same effects brought on by my IUD, I do very well. I get up early (like 5:30am), shower, exercise, read my Bible all before the kids get up. I teach a little and we look at books together and we operate on a schedule. I try to have dinner ready or in progress when Brian gets home. This is definitely not the case right now.

Thankfully, I seem to be over the morning/all day sickness. But I am still so tired. I thought this was supposed to be getting better? I'm hoping for increased energy in a couple of weeks when the second trimester starts officially. I do predict we will have a new baby in 6 months, give or take a day or 2.

I know that nearly as soon as this baby is out I will be a new person, with renewed energy and purpose. And organized. Just right now, there is paper piled on every surface that needs to be handled, laundry in the dryer and the washer, laundry that needs to be put away and laundry that needs to be washed. The kitchen needs to be cleaned in the worst way and I need a plan for dinner. I have 2 quilts that need to be finished and a new one that I have started that I need to have finished by March so I'll have time to have it quilted and bound.

And all the while, the kids minds are rotting right out of their heads because I have been allowing them to watch....television. Lots of television. It's PBS, so at least they're learning something (supposedly), but still, it's not my first choice.

I am finding I am much more annoyed at petty things than ever I was. I watched inauguration coverage from 9am Monday until the evening. No matter if the guy is black or white or whatever color, the inauguration of a President is history in the making. I am fascinated with the behind-the-scenes look that you get when you watch it live. (Watching a stooped Jimmy Carter carry out his and Rosalyn's commemorative Lennox bowls in a shopping bag with Rosalyn 4 steps ahead of him reminded me of some poor sap at the mall.) Here we are, over 2 months after the end of the election, and nearly 2 years fully after this election season began and people are still bellyaching about this guy. What difference does it make now? He's in. Isn't our job to support him, even if we disagree with his politics? That's what some say about the war...we should support those serving, even if we disagree with the reason they are there.

Just annoyed. And the lemonade that I'm drinking seems to be disagreeing with the Frosted Flakes I had for breakfast...

It's Another Monday...Hold the Mania

I've just returned from a 4 day weekend of scrapbooking. I am exhausted. Hour after hour sitting in a chair and trying to be creative with my limited number of supplies is tiring! I brought all my supplies and I probably had a third of what everyone else had. In my defense, I've probably been doing it less than everyone else, too. I'm proud of my pages, however time consuming. I even had a massage while I was there. Mmmmm. I should make that a monthly event.

But I am glad to be home. I was missing Brian and the girls and to be honest, they weren't really feeding me often enough! Of course, some of that has to do with the baby, but still, if I start getting hungry, I start getting nauseated, and that's not the fun part. I had my own twin bed and sharing a room wasn't bad. Certainly better than sharing a bed with women you hardly know.

I had been begging Brian for an electric blanket for our bed so that I wouldn't get pneumonia every night during the winter season, and for Christmas, he delivered. Last night was the first night to use it. What a treat to turn that thing on and climb into bed with my magazine 30 minutes later and the bed was warm!!! I even turned it off in the middle of the night because I was downright hot. Maybe someday we can live in a house that is actually warm in the winter and cool in the summer...

I picked out fabric for my next quilting project and I hope to have it all completed by the first of May. I intend to take advantage of whatever surge of energy I have in this next trimester to get some quilting projects completed. After a brain-numbing weekend of scrapbooking, I am looking forward to a different challenge.

"That's What I Heard"

The news is out. We're expecting Baby#4 in early August. I am beginning to realize this very interesting thing about myself: I am a secretive/private person. Even with a blog. There are just some things I like to keep to myself until I am ready to talk about them. Like this newest baby. It's not that I was surprised, I just didn't want to discuss it because I wasn't ready for the barrage of "well-meaning" comments. I also don't like other people sharing my news. I don't know why...but it irritates me to no end when I begin to tell other people something and they respond with "that's what I heard." Hmmm, maybe "irritate" isn't quite right; more like infuriates.

Along this vein of valuing my privacy is wondering why in the world people want to rub my belly! There are a few people I allow to do it, even though I don't like it. I only allow it because those people will not be stopped. I do not touch other people's bellies. When my mother was pregnant with my brother, she let me feel when the baby was moving. At 9, I was permanently scarred. Other than my own, I have never touched another pregnant belly. Yuck.

Brian hates it when people wonder if we know what causes this condition. I see it as a stupid, failed attempt at being humorous. Someone asked me that on Saturday and I told her I figured out it wasn't jogging. I quit jogging and we were still having this problem.

After my sonogram yesterday, I am now assured that there will only be one addition. Come August, I will have 4 children, 5 and under. Everyone else's opinion aside, it does kind of sound like something someone stupid would do. Even the sonogram tech yesterday wanted to know the history of my childbearing decisions. Please. What difference does it make?

Sometimes, I wonder what in the world I am possibly thinking in order to do this to myself again. I don't think being pregnant is the most fabulous time of my life. I think pregnancy sucks, except I didn't get the reminder until I started eating pretzels by the bag to keep from throwing up. I heard someone say that she never felt more purposeful than when she was pregnant. Even my mother loved being pregnant, but I can say with confidence, she didn't have morning sickness of any variety. And even this morning sickness isn't as bad as it could be. I'm just nauseated and gagging for most of the day. There are some people who actually have their heads in the toilet for 9 months.

As the end of the first trimester ends, I can tell it's getting better. I was actually able to get out of bed this morning without gagging and retching. But I might have an aversion to the smell of toast forever. Yes, the smell of toast causes me to gag. I can eat it, but only when the smell is gone.

I'm looking forward to increased productivity and energy in the 2nd trimester. Just a few more weeks...